and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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