Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize