You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
