just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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