Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
where are you?
Hypothermia
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
