You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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