I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Girls should come with a carfax report
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
