forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
