seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
