Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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