i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize