bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
