So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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