your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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