Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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