somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
