What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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