Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
