i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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