absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
