the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
