did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
