Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
