like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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