You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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