I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
