There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
