I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
