just come out here and I will go home with you...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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