New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
