I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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