this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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