she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
