If that was your dad, he is hot
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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