can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
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