i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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