I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You dont lie about slip and slides
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
