he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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