so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
