you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
