PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
