thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
