I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
