Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Randomize