He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
