What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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