3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
