I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
