So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
