Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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