i permit you to call me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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