He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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