PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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