can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
