you guys were way drunker than both of me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
