what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
