i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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