Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
whose parrot is this?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
