Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
