don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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