ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
